QUICK BITES: HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS

1) What the hell did I just watch?  What happened to the examination of greed, lust, manipulation, pain, pleasure, and s & m from the 1987 original?  Seriously, what did I just watch?  And while we’re on it, what the hell is Dimension: Extreme?  FYI- whenever something is labeled as “extreme” I figure the product is marketed to a bunch of surfer douchbags.

2) Um- I know a different actor took over the iconic role of Pinhead, but… yeah that’s all I got.  A different actor is in the role of Pinhead and yes, it affected the movie and took away the subtle terror that was previously invoked from the great Doug Bradley.

3) I’ve never seen so many”on the horizon” actors commit so hard to characters in a movie that was clearly shit from day one.

4) All the Mexican prostitutes oddly enough look Thai.

5) I’m REALLY over the whole “found footage” phenom.  What happened to a normal narrative?

6) SPOILER ALERT: How is the dad-who was shot-  still alive?  If so, how? why? whatever.

I didn’t expect much with this movie.  It was shot in 2 weeks just to keep the title rights with the original company, not for artistic reasons like the last 5 sequels.  Considering this was the first, and only draft of the script as been reported, the film could’ve been worse.  The actors, who are all of various skill level, are obviously committed which is a little sad when you think about it in the grand scheme.  All in all, I was able to sit through this installment which I couldn’t say about some of the previous ones like the shitastic Hellraiser: Bloodline… fuck me that movie was boring.  The worst part of this film is knowing what might follow.  A PG-13 remake was in the works and currently a TV series is supposedly happening instead.  The Hellraiser series is one puzzle no one has been able to figure out in a long time.  Let’s stop playing.

Straight vodka- that’s it

** out of 4

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2 comments

  1. 1: Computer graphics (badly done CGI at that) in a Hellraiser movie?

    2: Why is it that every single person that ever gets ahold of the puzzle box know exactly how to open it, room dimly lit? check. Candles everywhere? check. Shitless and barefoot pervy guy? check. Kneeling on the ground, surrounded by a square of candles? check.

    3: since when does the creepy bug eating disgustingly filthy homeless dude that was only there in the first film as creep factor know all there is about the box? And since when does that fucker talk?

    4: new actors lines about tearing him apart pail in comparison to Bradley’s “I will tear your soul apart” Thats iconic.

    5: Clive Barker kicks himself daily that he let this story rights get sold in the first place since the studios have done nothing but butcher it and turn it into a soft core S&M porno with bad acting and lots of blood. The first movie was essentially about the depravity of the human s desires and how far they will go for that but the gore factor highly overshadowed that fact.

    All in all, I stopped watching the hellraiser movies after the second one. Sure I saw parts of the others but they just will never match the brilliance of the first unless they sell the rights back to Barker, cheap.

    Like

  2. Well put. I haven’t seen a lot of the previous sequels but I had an odd fascination with this one knowing some of the behind the scenes drama.

    Like

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