A few thoughts about Annabelle: Creation

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Don’t worry.  I saw ANNABELLE: CREATION so you don’t have to.  A few thoughts:

  1. ANNABELLE: CREATION’s legacy will be that of a prequel to a prequel and one that’s miles better than the first prequel. (?!?)
  2. Why did the theater closest to me only offer this film in dolby? Why do I have to pay for upgrades all the time at the movies?  WTF!
  3. The acting is pretty decent, especially from the younger cast, but I miss Patrick Wilson’s tight polyester pants.
  4. Annabelle is such an asshole.
  5. The “scary” scenes actually work.  They’re very well done.  Too bad the movie is so slow-moving that it feels like a 3 hour break in between those scenes.
  6. Shouldn’t Annabelle move… or something? She really just sits there.
  7. Did I just spot an easter egg for the upcoming NUN film?  I see what you did there.
  8. Annabelle really is an asshole.
  9. Why don’t these girls scream when they’re being terrorized? Strange.
  10. Oh great!  Are we going to get a scarecrow spinoff next?  I forget that The CONJURING Universe is an actual thing now.
  11. Finally! One of the girls is screaming after a ghost pushes her wheelchair.  Surely, one of the other girls, standing about 10 feet away from her will help.  No? But she’s screaming.  Oh that’s right- they’re too busy playing hopscotch or whatever the fuck.
  12. Wait- so is Annabelle evil? Or is it the young girl? Or the scarecrow? I’m confused.
  13. Nice tie-in to the first film at the end.  This is the end right?
  14. Wait- this movie was actually less than 2 hours? Doesn’t feel like it.
  15. We. Really. Don’t. Need. Anymore. Annabelle. Films.  I get it.
  16. Annabelle is still a fucking asshole.

 

**1/2 out of 4

 

Related image
Annabelle and her resting bitch face.
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