Oh No! Why Did The Cute One Have To Die? Vol. 3

An age old common criticism of horror movies, especially slashers, were that they were seen as a platform that exploited young women in peril. More offensively, their strength or lack thereof, was rarely a deterent from seeing them drop trou only to be pursued by masked killer in the next scene. Historically, it seems that horror movies were made deliberately for the gaze and pleasure of young, heterosexual men. Until accessibility to the internet became so easy and common, slasher films in particular, served as a pornographic gateway drug to onscreen nudity and sex. Since these films were often made with the adolescent straight men in mind, women’s bodies were usually front and center. However for gay men it wasn’t the gratuitous female nudity that helped entice us to watch these films- it was the male eye candy we knew was coming. It wasn’t always the bad-boy villain or the final boy standing that was usually the hottest. It was, unfortunately, the guy in the wheelchair who died as he’s takes a machete to the face or the guy killed as after he escapes an Eastern European hostel. These are the times when I yell, “but why did the cute one have to die?” For this series, I’m highlighting the hottest guys in horror who met a sad, early demise. And as a warning, SPOILERS AHEAD!

Xavier Dolan (Adrian Mellon in IT: CHAPTER 2; 2019)

don hagarty | Tumblr

Say what you will about IT: CHAPTER 2 but one thing the 2019 follow up got right was the collection of hot men. While the adult Losers Club had on the nose casting, it was Xavier Dolan’s Adrian who stood out in the film’s prologue. Since he and his onscreen partner of 10 minutes, Taylor Frey, had more chemistry between the two of them than the adult ‘Losers” had with each other, his brutal death from Pennywise was all the more…heartbreaking. Pun intended

Mandela Van Peebles (Mitch in JIGSAW; 2017)

Mandela Van Peebles - IMDb

There’s not much I can say I remember from JIGSAW. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great, it was just a very unmemorable late continuation of the SAW franchise. The only thing that stood out to me was the very handsome Mandela Van Peebles. He has the same cool-guy swag his father and grandfather both have and he used it to his advantage in the film making him the only person from the cast I remember. Being the son of Mario Van Peebles and the grandson of Sweetback himself, Melvin Van Peebles, should come in handy and I hope to see more of him in the future

Sam Kazzi (Jeff Stone in HELL HOUSE, LLC 3: LAKE OF FIRE; 2019)

Sam Kazzi

HELL HOUSE 3 was a fun surprise of a film that ended the found footage saga on a high note. While his character, Jeff, was a wet blanket with the haunted house festivities, all is forgiven because actor Sam Kazzi is soooo charismatic onscreen, not to mention soooo good looking. I hope to see more of him in the future.

Ryan Phillippe (Barry Cox in I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER; 1998)

To be clear, none of the men in the ‘I KNOW’ franchise were good people. They were all selfish, arrogant messes and most cases, accessories to murder. However, if you’re going to have any combination of those traits, and look constantly sweaty, drunk, and pissed off all the time for no reason, at least look gorgeous while doing so. Ryan Phillippe made his mark in the horror world and left an indelible impression that we’re all still feening after over 20 years later.

Jordan Calloway (Matt Monroe in COUNTDOWN; 2019)

Countdown Clip Shows There's an App for Death | Den of Geek

COUNTDOWN was a much, much better movie than I had anticipated. I prepared myself for a cliched, by-the-numbers, teen horror film- which is it, but it’s a lot more fun than that I expected it to be. ‘YOU’ star Elizabeth Lail does a fine job leading the film but it’s her co-star, Jordan Calloway, that kept me glued to the screen. That was until… It also helps that his character, Matt, is very likeable and adds some levity to the slasher.

John Krasinski (Lee Abbott in A QUIET PLACE; 2018)

A Quiet Place 2' wraps filming in WNY; John Krasinski shares photo -  syracuse.com

With the horror hit, A QUIET PLACE, John Krasinski successfully shedded his Jim Halpert image and transformed into leading man status since LEATHERHEADS and LICENSE TO WED didn’t do it. Pulling in triple duty as co-writer, director and star Krasinski, his beard and beefy bod gave us one of the biggest horror hits in recent years. Here’s hoping he appears in flashbacks in the upcoming sequel.

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