Oh No! Why did the cute one have to die? Volume 4

An age old common criticism of horror movies, especially slashers, were that they were seen as a platform that exploited young women in peril. More offensively, their strength or lack thereof, was rarely a deterent from seeing them drop trou only to be pursued by masked killer in the next scene. Historically, it seems that horror movies were made deliberately for the gaze and pleasure of young, heterosexual men. Until accessibility to the internet became so easy and common, slasher films in particular, served as a pornographic gateway drug to onscreen nudity and sex. Since these films were often made with the adolescent straight men in mind, women’s bodies were usually front and center. However for gay men it wasn’t the gratuitous female nudity that helped entice us to watch these films- it was the male eye candy we knew was coming. It wasn’t always the bad-boy villain or the final boy standing that was usually the hottest. It was, unfortunately, the guy in the wheelchair who died as he’s takes a machete to the face or the guy killed as after he escapes an Eastern European hostel. These are the times when I yell, “but why did the cute one have to die?” For this series, I’m highlighting the hottest guys in horror who met an early demise and let the final girl have all the fun.

Trey Songz (Ryan in TEXAS CHAINSAW; 2013)

Trey Songz Leads 'Texas Chainsaw 3D' to No. 1 | Rap-Up

TEXAS CHAINSAW is, to put it mildly, an awfully uninspired movie. What should’ve been a great pivot for the series wound up being a sad, chaotic installment in a mostly uneven franchise. That being said, casting R&B star Trey Songz in one of the lead roles was a bright spot in this, otherwise, forgettable sequel. Trey’s acting chops wont run…Daniel Day Lewis? Viola Davis? Meryl Streep? Alfonso Ribeiro out of Hollywood anytime soon so the smart decision was made to have shirtless in most of his scenes. Sadly, It’s probably more skin than he shows on his Onlyfans. I heard.

Justin Long (Darry; JEEPERS CREEPERS; 2001)

Creepers' nothing to scream about – Jae-Ha Kim

Who doesn’t love Justin Long? While the JEEPERS CREEPERS saga is colored with it’s own controversy surrounding writer-director Victor Salva, Justin Long came out of this movie mostly unscathed. Sure, his naked, dead torso is the only evidence left of him at the end of the film, but the former “Mac Guy” hot guy status was raised because of this movie.

Jesse Williams (Todd in RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE; 2019)

Jay Baruchel Makes His Camera a Ghost for 'Random Acts of Violence'

Jesse Williams is, perhaps, best known for his long running stint on Grey’s Anatomy, but his presence in the horror genre shouldn’t be dismissed. While his charisma and sparkling blue eyes stole the show in CABIN IN THE WOODS (Sorry, Thor), it was his leading man performance in RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE where he was at his peak hottest. Hopefully we get more Jesse Williams in horror in the future. I’ll even settle if it’s in a David DeCoteau film.

Jason Behr (Doug; THE GRUDGE; 2004)

the grudge-doug - jason behr and sarah michelle gellar Photo (13828506) -  Fanpop

The 2004 American remake of THE GRUDGE is one of the bright entries of early-2000s horror. Starring, the always fabulous, Sarah Michelle Gellar, this GRUDGE places her and her American boyfriend, played by Jason Behr, in Japan as the curse takes over their lives. While Behr isn’t given much to do other than playing the doomed, doting boyfriend, he’s definitely the hottest guy in the series until the sequel.

Dean Cochran (Andy in AMITYVILLE 1992: IT’S ABOUT TIME; 1992)

AMITYVILLE 1992 is surprisingly a solid entry in the long running AMITYVILLE franchise. It’s full of 90s cheese and the source of the horror- a haunted timeclock from the original Amityville house- is absolutely insane. Fortunately, Dean Cochran’s tighty whiteys were distracting, especially in a pivotal scene towards the end. I’m sure his face his fine, but it’s the bottom half of him that elevates this movie from cheesy 90s direct to video flick to a cheesy 90s direct to video flick with a well-endowed guy in white briefs.

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